So by now, everyone who is interested has seen the now viral video of the North Carolina father who posted a video on You Tube of himself railing on his teenage daughter, ending with his melodramatic shooting up a laptop belonging—or rather formerly so—to her. The video, which father Tommy Jordan posted, was a response to his 15-year-old daughter’s Facebook-posted profanity-laden diatribe against her own parents for it appears, holding her to reasonable expectations as a child living under the responsibility, the authority, and the roof of her parents.
Setting aside the twin truths that: (1) I have been working with kids and teens in one form or fashion for the last decade or so, and am well aware of their narcissistic perspectives; and (2) that I am quite familiar with how often most of today’s teenagers exaggerate occurrences involving themselves, I am more than inclined to take the father at his word after watching the video—even without hearing the daughter’s side of the story. The simple fact is that today’s American youth—outside of each other’s approval—don’t respect a whole lot, especially the inherent and actual authority of adults, including their parents. To today’s teens, rules are merely suggestions and when they [routinely] break rules, they are often coddled by a justice system already overwhelmed with dealing with adult crimes.
After reading multiple online articles and posts about the shootings myself, it seems that public opinion is pretty split down the middle for support and condemnation of the father’s actions.
Regular readers to Beyond The Political Spectrum already know where I personally stand on the issue of parental disciplining of noncompliant and rebellious children; the Old School way of bringing up children is simply the best, the most result-proven way. Under the Old School regime of raising children, there was social consensus for the parent’s right to occasionally whip unruly children, including among law-enforcement and the courts…as long as parents didn’t cross the line into abuse. During those times, “abuse” was more narrowly-defined, prohibiting such blatant actions resulting in major physical trauma, such as cigarette burns, choking, broken limbs, and/or otherwise adversely affecting the child’s long-term physical health (by comparison, “abuse” today constitutes anything that may result in a broken fingernail or leaves a bad thought in a child’s head).
The direct parenting of the old ways enforced compliance with curfews, the authority of adults (especially parents and teachers), compelled school attendance and in most cases, academic performance, and cavorting with familiars (back in those days, if parents didn’t know a child’s friend or their parents, children weren’t allowed to play with them). Children didn’t expect everything to be given to them on a whim. Chores were performed based on nonnegotiable expectations. Substance abuse was the exception, not the rule, as direct parenting made parents well aware of their children’s proclivities and inclinations. Those with overly-liberal attitudes toward raising children—those who invariably condemn Jordan’s actions—can only blame themselves for how today’s children have turned out. “Sanctions” are limited to talking to children in a “therapeutic” manner (which flies in the face of logic; if such “solutions” were in fact valid, then we wouldn’t jail adults for breaking the law…we’d talk to them). We often make unjustified excuses for their actions. Half of us whine and scream, “Abuse” if parents even raise their voices at chronically unruly children, affecting the half of responsible parents who do believe in being given a free hand to raise their children in a manner they deem appropriate. It’s hard to imagine that many Americans either don’t remember, or don’t yearn for those relatively better parenting experiences.
Those who condemn the North Carolina’s father’s actions are simply not looking at the big picture; he could have just as well put the bullets in his daughter for publicly disrespecting her and his wife as responsible parents. But for showing restraint—and innovative thinking—as a parent in dealing with today's often disrespectful, ungrateful, lazy, and unmotivated youth, I say...you go, boy!
Sunday, February 19, 2012
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I disagree. All spanking your children does is teach children how to be violent!
ReplyDeleteNo actually it doesn't by spanking your child let them know that there is a repercussion by the actions they do and teaches on that either right or wrong God knows my mom beat my butt enough I turned out okay it taught me that there are repercussions to my actions the only time I ever thought is when I could not get out of it or talk my way out of it I was backed into a corner so then I had to fight my way out that was the only time I thought I really didn't bully people there was no reason for it because I knew there was a consequence to it and it's more to get their attention to wake him up to let him know you're not going to tolerate the crap nowadays they mouth off to you they treat you like s*** cuss you out if I have done that's my parents I would have got a hand upside the head I see kids cuss their parents out treat their parents like s*** and they don't do anything now if you have reached out and popped him upside the head said you're not going to treat me like that they know you don't treat your parents like that you treat your parents with respect kids don't do that now I know I had four daughters two of them I busted their ass and two of my didn't touch and my middle child is the most disrespectful child that I know because she didn't get her ass busted enough and I can count on one hand how many times I busted their ass on all four of them
DeleteI'm sorry, but children nowadays already know how to be violent. But it's really no different than how we already approach murder in this country; we kill criminals to show that killing is wrong. We aren't showing them anything "new," so that logic doesn't fly. Its up to you as a parent to raise a child correctly, or the police will more than gladly (in many cases) beat some sense into your children.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you there and that's why the police have to beat some sense into him because the parents didn't do it because the kid cried oh I'm going to call social services cuz you hit me not the s*** out of that little f***** and I guarantee he'll respect you and he won't be calling social services and I guarantee the cops will stand behind you especially if he's not a little s*** like I was my ass getting beat didn't hurt me at all if anything it taught me a little respect for my father and by the way he was a police officer also
DeleteTo today’s teens, rules are merely suggestions and when they [routinely] break rules, they are often coddled by a justice system already overwhelmed with dealing with adult crimes.
ReplyDeleteWholeheartedly agreed. And teens are smart enough and social enough to understand the sign of the times, as it pertains to slaps on the wrist and attention.
I wouldn't say the father went too far, although I doubt if I'd done as much. But I will say that I understand how it is, at times, and apparently so does the father.
The funny thing is that some of the postings I've seen regarding the father's actions (including one by "Dr." Phil on You Tube) say that a parent should "never humiliate a child publicly." As opposed to the daughter humiliating her parents publicly by posting her disrespectful rant on Facebook...yeah right!
ReplyDeleteExactly but it's okay if the child humiliates us and treat us like crap I don't think so that's where the parent needs to step in and let them know you're in charge it only took one ass beating for my two oldest daughters 1 and my youngest the twins fell right on inline I didn't even have to spank them didn't have to cuz I knew what the consequences would be only only when they have gone too far otherwise all I had to do is talk to him about it that's how I was going to push you too far and you're going to smack that child I'd let him know you've gone too far you're not going to disrespect me you're going to treat me with respect and you're not going to mouth off to me like that and you are going to listen to me because I am your parent and I do carelike I said I got my butt beat just about every day for a while till I grew up and realized hey don't do that and I'll have to say my mom was pretty abusive my dad when he spoke I listened mom and get a leather strap and beat the hell out of you she probably went a little too far sometimes but she raised to boys that raise all kinds of hell so I can understand why I got my ass beat stop me I'm not supposed to lie I'm not supposed to steal and I'm supposed to treat my elders with respect I can't say that I'm perfect but I know I'm not supposed to lie steal cheat police officers with respect authority of the respect my elders with respect my parents with respect and hopefully I invited some of that in my children because I treat them with respect as long as they respect me also they don't treat me with respect then why should I treat them with respect but I will also after busting there but tell him why I did it apologize for itbut I'm not just going to knock him upside the head or bust your ass without them not knowing why they got their butt beat and explain to him why they got their butt beat in the reason and why they're not supposed to do that whatever it may be
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